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Thursday, July 8th, 2010

    Time Event
    1:25a
    I could see well enough He didn't argue with me I...
    I could see well enough
    He didn't argue with me
    I was still crying silently when we got to the little mountain that hid our vast cave systemIt
    was actually just a hill–an insignificant outcropping of volcanic rock, like so many others,
    sparsely decorated with spindly creosote and flat-bladed prickly pearsThe thousands of tiny
    vents were invisible, lost in the jumble of loose purple rocksSomewhere, smoke would be
    rising, black on black
    I got out of the van and leaned against the door, wiping my eyesJared came to stand beside
    meHe hesitated, then put a hand on my shoulderI didn't know they balenciaga first were planning thisThey shouldn't have…”
    But he only thought that because they'd somehow gotten caught
    The moving truck rumbled to a stop behind usTwo doors slammed shut, and then feet were
    running toward us
    “What happened?” Kyle demanded, there first
    Ian was right behind himHe took one look at my expression, at the tears still running down my
    cheeks, at Jared's hand on my shoulder, and then rushed forward and threw his arms around me
    He pulled me into his chestI didn't know why this made me cry harderI clung to him while my
    tears leaked onto his shirt
    “Seeker's not the problem, Ian,” Jared tiffany heart tag said, voice strained, his hand still touching me, though he
    had to lean forward to preserve that point of contact
    “Huh?”
    “They were watching the road for a reasonSounds like Doc's been… working in our absence
    I shuddered, and for a moment, it seemed like I could taste silver blood in the back of my
    throat
    “Why, those –!” Ian's fury robbed him of speechHe couldn't finish his sentence
    “Nice,” Kyle said in a disgusted toneWe're gone for a few weeks, and they've got the
    Seekers on patrolThey could have just asked us to –”
    “Shut up, Kyle,” Jared said harshly“That's neither here nor there at chanel watch women the momentWe've got to
    get this all unloaded fastWho knows how many are watching for us? Let's grab a load and then
    get some more hands
    I shook Ian off so that I could helpThe tears did not stop runningIan stayed close to my side,
    taking the heavy flat of canned soup I picked up and replacing it with a big but light box of
    pasta
    We started down the steep pathway in, Jared leadingThe utter blackness did not bother meI
    still didn't know this path well, but it wasn't difficultStraight down, then straight up
    We were halfway there when a familiar voice called out from a distanceIt echoed down omega ladies watch the
    tunnel, fracturing
    “They're back… ack… back!” Jamie was shouting
    I tried to dry my tears on my shoulder, but I couldn't get them all
    A blue light approached, bouncing as the carrier ranThen Jamie bounded into view
    I was trying to compose myself to greet him, assuming he would be joyful and not wanting to
    upset himBut Jamie was already upsetHis face was white and tense, his eyes rimmed in red
    His dirty cheeks had rivulets through the dust there, tracks made by tears
    “Jamie?” Jared and I said together, dropping our boxes to the floor
    Jamie ran straight for me and threw his arms around my chanel costume jewelry wais
    1:46a
    If you want to translate the world, you need...
    If you want to translate the world, you need to
    use your appetitesDoes this surprise you? It
    shouldn'tThere's nothing as human as hunger
    There's no creation without talent, I give you
    that, but talent is cheap
    Hunger is the piston of artThat little girl I
    was telling you about? She found hers and used it
    179
    She thinks No more bed all day nowI go Daddy
    room, Daddy's studySometimes I say study,
    sometimes I say groodyIt has a nice big window
    They sit me in the charToo nice for me, so it makes me sat
    Some clouds have wingsEvery
    sunset I cry from satHurts the
    down up in meI could never say what I see and
    that chanel white purse makes me sat
    She thinks SAD, that word is SADSat is for how
    you feel in the char
    She thinks If I could stop the hurtIf I could
    get it out like weeweeI cry and beg beg beg to
    say what I meanWhen I say
    "Color!" she touch her face and smile and say
    "Always was, always will be Big girls don't help
    eitherI'm so mad at them, why don't you listen,
    YOU BIG MEANIES! Then one day the twins come,
    Tessie and Lo-LoThey talk special to each other,
    listen special to meThey don't understand me at
    first, but thenTessie bring me paperLo-Lo
    bring me pencil and I "Ben-cil!" out my mouth and
    it makes them claff and lap their see by chloe bag hands
    She thinks I CAN ALMOST SAY THE NAME OF PENCIL!
    180
    She thinks I can make the world on paperI can
    draw what the words meanI see tree, I make tree
    I see bird, I make birdIt's good, like water
    from a glass
    This is a little girl with a bandage wound around
    her head, wearing a little pink housecoat and
    sitting beside the window in her father's study
    Her doll, Noveen, lies on the floor beside her
    She has a board and on the board is a piece of
    paperShe has just succeeded in drawing a claw
    that actually does bear a resemblance to the dead
    loblolly pine outside the window
    She thinks I will have more paper, quilted white bag please
    She thinks I am ELIZABETH
    It must have been like being given back your
    tongue after you thought it had been stilled
    foreverIt was a gift of
    herself, of ELIZABETHEven from those incredibly
    brave first drawings, she must have understood
    what was happeningThe best gifts - and the
    worst - always are
    4 - Friends with Benefits
    181
    i
    On New Year's afternoon, I woke from a brief but
    refreshing nap thinking of a certain kind of shell
    - the orangey kind with white specklesI don't
    know if I dreamed about it or not, but I wanted
    oneI was ready to start experimenting with
    paints, and I thought one of those louis vuitton white speedy orange shells
    would be just the thing to plop down in the middle
    of a Gulf of Mexico sunset
    I began prospecting southward along the beach,
    accompanied only by my shadow and two or three
    dozen of the tiny birds - Ilse called them peeps -
    that prospect endlessly for food at the edge of
    the waterFarther out, pelicans cruised, then
    folded their wings and dropped like stonesI
    wasn't thinking of exercise that afternoon, I
    wasn't monitoring the pain in my hip, and I wasn't
    counting stepsI wasn't thinking of anything,
    really; my mind was gliding like the pelicans
    before they spotted dinner in the caldo largo
    below men's gucci wallet th

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